My last post feels so different life from how I feel now. Obviously I don't blog enough!
Well... I'm married now and honestly I've never felt so full of life. My beautiful new wife and I live in a HUGE house and our rhythm of life is still being developed. It's very exciting and we're still adjusting to each other and our pattern of work rest and play. I think the best thing is that it still feels like a sleepover every night! haha... a bit silly and I know one day the novelty will wear off but at the moment I'm thoroughly enjoying hanging out with my new wife and enjoying her company. One surprising aspect of living in our own place is the amount of cleaning and chores I'm happy to do! I water the plants everyday and everything!! I guess it comes with the sense of belonging and ownership that comes with starting a new family and owning a space of our own.
The wedding day went beautifully. I can't thank the in laws enough for providing such a sweet venue and giving us the space and scope to make it our own. They were brilliant and everyone had a brilliant time :) If you didn't already know our wedding service took place in the local church and then the reception followed in a marquee at Ruth's parent's garden. I think a highlight was "play time" in-between the reception meal and evening do where everyone just sat around the grounds, played cricket, badminton, "Kubbs" or just had a good catch up. The next day Ruth and I spent almost the whole 9 hours in the car on the way down to Cornwall just looking back on the day, looking back on how we felt, laughing at friends and sharing stories. It was a good drive.
The honeymoon was beautiful as well! We played with a feral kitten, bought a "chocolate- mint" plant, ate lots of seafood, checked out King Arthur's pad, hung out in our pretty little cottage, drove and drove and drove and took lots of pictures!
Lately I've developed a keen interest in golf and sea fishing. Signs of old age are already creeping up and I've just gotten married!! If all goes to plan by our one year anniversary I'll be wearing corduroy, growing a beard, smoking a pipe, eating high tea, talking about the news and developing an interest in birdwatching or gardening... I've noticed in my conversation with friends or friend (Kenny) that we talk about the most trivial things but find then thoroughly interesting, sunken boats in Sweden and the like. I find it interesting though (well I would do I feel as if I'm getting more boring by the minute) that I'm leaving my rebellious and wayward nature behind and adopting a more sensible more grounded outlook on life. I remember as a teenager I was often a rebel without a cause, I just fancied saying no and deliberately doing things differently and did what I wanted to do. I no longer feel the need to buck against the trend or go out of my way to define myself as an individual. I guess I'm continually re-realizing how there is so much more to my life than just myself and that's immense. To live for more than just me, to live for more than my own amusement and entertainment is so fulfilling. Like I said in the beginning of this blog I feel full of life. In giving all of me away on the 23rd of July I gained infinitely more. Strange sort of economics that isn't it? I started this particular blog without an agenda, or a message as such but I guess I'd like to leave it here. I'd like to leave this blog recognizing that I'm full of life because in my marriage with Ruth I'm free to give myself completely away without reservation, to live for someone else which is so much more than... anything that I can think of.
Friday, 19 August 2011
Thursday, 9 June 2011
Shifts.
The past few months have been difficult in work. I've been finding it near impossible to achieve a breakthrough in the lives of the three girls I now work with. When I say breakthrough I mean breakthrough in my relationship with them. Every shift I go on seems no different from the last and I can really see my patience wearing thin and their patience wearing thin with me. But in some crazy, upside down way I'm grateful because I'm beginning to see in myself where I lack character. I'm pushed so far out of my comfort zone and challenged that I feel like my weaknesses and insecurities are exposed. I'm impatient, selfish, irresponsible, cowardly, TOO laid back, and pretty terrible at teaching. The imagery might seem a touch extreme but sometimes I look back at my shift and think... bloody hell... I've just walked through fire. This past week alone I've been kicked, shouted at, made to feel 3 millimeters tall, told I'm a "perv", had febreeze-y stuff sprayed in my eyes, threatened by a boy racer as he headbutt the window and tried to get into the car to beat me up, and was kept up til 3.30am because one of the girls decided to listen to "Sister" by Goldie Looking Chain. I wonder if it's just me that the girls bully and abuse but I can see all the staff struggling and I've realized that even if you've worked there for years and invested in the kids you can get a rough time. The girls can sometimes make you feel as bad as they do. They hold onto their insecurities and brokenness as a part of themselves, it's a part of their identity. The chaos that they've grown up in, experienced and known is taken wherever they go and to go in their home, tell them that the world doesn't work like that and THEN turn their lives around is a huge task. The thing is we ALL have brokenness we cling on to and sometimes I feel like we're blind leading the blind. One shift not long ago in the evening when another experienced carer and I were talking about the job and how I felt in it she asked "Do you want it?". As in, do you want to invest your time and effort in these kids? Do you want to be there for them through thick and thin? Do you want to be there when they wind you up and drive you up the wall but there when they need you most, when their brokenness is too much for them? Obviously I wanted to say to her at the time, "Yeah! I'm in, I'm going to be the hero and repair their mistakes!" But that's about as real as Smallville is. Honestly, sometimes I just want to bolt out of there, to work in Asda stacking shelves or join "Eddie Stobart" and drive a truck up and down the country or... ANYTHING else...
I spoke to my manager about my feelings and how I wasn't building any real trust or relationship with the girls and how much of a dead end I felt in and after a conversation with her manager she's assigned me to another care home for next week and maybe the week after. It's not that I'm abandoning my house but hopefully it serves as a re-focusing. Hopefully I can go and after working with the younger boys there I'll be able to gain a bit of perspective and learn a few things that I don't already. I'm really grateful for the management's support and I think the experience in a house is going to be so valuable no matter what happens. I don't want to leave my job, I know it's important and I know I'm good at it. It'll be interesting to see how I get on in this new house, it'll be interesting to see if I stay in this new house or if I'll move back in with the girls. We'll see...
On a completely different note and in what seems a completely different world my personal life is very exciting! My lovely Ruth has moved up to Liverpool and we're thrilled to be in the same city and the same house. The house we're moving into should be ready soon and all the wedding stuff is coming together. (44 more days to go!!!) Ruth and I have been talking and dreaming about hosting a prayer space in the house and we're super excited to have a space set apart where we can creatively worship, pray, be with God and share it with friends. The immediate future looks to be filled with new and exciting circumstances with prospects and dreams of Hong Kong in the not too distant future?
My prayer.
Thank you God for all that you are, for all that you have given me. Thank you that I can experience You, your love, and walk and journey with you every part of every day with the people around me. Thank you for continually healing me and continually refining me and preparing me for fullness of life. I'm excited to walk with you God and I trust in your goodness that trickles and soaks every aspect of life.
In your most precious name Jesus.
Amen.
I spoke to my manager about my feelings and how I wasn't building any real trust or relationship with the girls and how much of a dead end I felt in and after a conversation with her manager she's assigned me to another care home for next week and maybe the week after. It's not that I'm abandoning my house but hopefully it serves as a re-focusing. Hopefully I can go and after working with the younger boys there I'll be able to gain a bit of perspective and learn a few things that I don't already. I'm really grateful for the management's support and I think the experience in a house is going to be so valuable no matter what happens. I don't want to leave my job, I know it's important and I know I'm good at it. It'll be interesting to see how I get on in this new house, it'll be interesting to see if I stay in this new house or if I'll move back in with the girls. We'll see...
On a completely different note and in what seems a completely different world my personal life is very exciting! My lovely Ruth has moved up to Liverpool and we're thrilled to be in the same city and the same house. The house we're moving into should be ready soon and all the wedding stuff is coming together. (44 more days to go!!!) Ruth and I have been talking and dreaming about hosting a prayer space in the house and we're super excited to have a space set apart where we can creatively worship, pray, be with God and share it with friends. The immediate future looks to be filled with new and exciting circumstances with prospects and dreams of Hong Kong in the not too distant future?
My prayer.
Thank you God for all that you are, for all that you have given me. Thank you that I can experience You, your love, and walk and journey with you every part of every day with the people around me. Thank you for continually healing me and continually refining me and preparing me for fullness of life. I'm excited to walk with you God and I trust in your goodness that trickles and soaks every aspect of life.
In your most precious name Jesus.
Amen.
Wednesday, 13 April 2011
My workplace.
Hi!
It has been a long time since I last blogged. A very long time indeed... Since my last blog EVERYTHING has changed. Well not everything but a lot... Since my last blog I've started working as a Residential Care Worker supporting vulnerable youths. The 4 kids I work with have attachment disorders which means that they struggle to form relationships and build healthy attachments to and with other people. It's a very rewarding job but immensely challenging. I've never been so angry, frustrated, pushed, stressed out and anxious in all my life. Before almost all my shifts I drive to work with a knot in my stomach just hoping and praying that today will be a good shift! Quite often tho that's the worst part of the day. I realize now that you don't need to go to the poorest parts of the world to love the "least of these". (Not that I would dare knock anyone who's dream is to go feed the homeless in Calcutta). I feel for me right now the neediest for me are those right on my door step, in exotic Runcorn. The neglect and abuse that the kids will have been through is one of the worst possible sufferings a human being can endure. My job is to care and to bring restoration and to repair the brokenness of the kids I work with. (Which by the way is often much harder than to start again, I think God knows what I'm talking about). To salvage and to grow in these kids a hope for their future and to help them realize their potential. It's a flipping massive task! It feels impossibly hard sometimes because of the nature of the work, I have to remain professional and sometimes that involves protecting myself and not leaving myself vulnerable to these kids, sometimes it feels impossible to communicate to the kids because they're teenagers and think they know everything! (I remember the feeling). And sometimes it feels impossible because I know that I am one carer of a team of 9, from one out of two or three houses that these kids will have lived in, after spending so many years with a foster family, after being taken away from they birth families by a social worker who they think knows nothing about who they are.
But it's not all about me. I'm becoming more and more aware of the joy and pleasure I get in sharing joy with other people. It multiplies. It's so fruitful! There's a real freedom in living a life that is completely invested in other people. Screw a lifetime of seeking fullness of pleasure for yourself. I think life gets REALLY exciting when you can share it with someone else. One thing I have learned from these kids is how difficult it is to live for "number one". The kids I work with are the most stressed out, highly strung, most scared, difficult and selfish people I have ever met. They're a product of the society we live in. I belong to that society, I belong to a generation of broken, lazy, uncreative, destructive and consumer cultured people who can have kids!
However! God cares. He's doing something about it. I can see in the heartbeat and work of my colleagues and my manager battling everyday to spin the ball the other way, to pull the gear stick out of reverse and back into first. I see the kingdom of God breaking through, (even if my colleagues aren't "Christian"), glimpses of the Holy Spirit, little shards of light flickering as God gradually breaks in to guide us, to save us from the destruction that we head towards. I want to shout "COME ON GOD! SHOW YOUR LOVE!!", suffering every kick, punch and bite, putting up with every racial, verbal and physical abuse that these children can throw knowing that in the end maybe one... maybe two might turn around and think, "hm, maybe there is a better way of doing things, maybe I am loved more than I will ever know, maybe there is someone who loves and care for me because honestly, that's what I need".
It has been a long time since I last blogged. A very long time indeed... Since my last blog EVERYTHING has changed. Well not everything but a lot... Since my last blog I've started working as a Residential Care Worker supporting vulnerable youths. The 4 kids I work with have attachment disorders which means that they struggle to form relationships and build healthy attachments to and with other people. It's a very rewarding job but immensely challenging. I've never been so angry, frustrated, pushed, stressed out and anxious in all my life. Before almost all my shifts I drive to work with a knot in my stomach just hoping and praying that today will be a good shift! Quite often tho that's the worst part of the day. I realize now that you don't need to go to the poorest parts of the world to love the "least of these". (Not that I would dare knock anyone who's dream is to go feed the homeless in Calcutta). I feel for me right now the neediest for me are those right on my door step, in exotic Runcorn. The neglect and abuse that the kids will have been through is one of the worst possible sufferings a human being can endure. My job is to care and to bring restoration and to repair the brokenness of the kids I work with. (Which by the way is often much harder than to start again, I think God knows what I'm talking about). To salvage and to grow in these kids a hope for their future and to help them realize their potential. It's a flipping massive task! It feels impossibly hard sometimes because of the nature of the work, I have to remain professional and sometimes that involves protecting myself and not leaving myself vulnerable to these kids, sometimes it feels impossible to communicate to the kids because they're teenagers and think they know everything! (I remember the feeling). And sometimes it feels impossible because I know that I am one carer of a team of 9, from one out of two or three houses that these kids will have lived in, after spending so many years with a foster family, after being taken away from they birth families by a social worker who they think knows nothing about who they are.
But it's not all about me. I'm becoming more and more aware of the joy and pleasure I get in sharing joy with other people. It multiplies. It's so fruitful! There's a real freedom in living a life that is completely invested in other people. Screw a lifetime of seeking fullness of pleasure for yourself. I think life gets REALLY exciting when you can share it with someone else. One thing I have learned from these kids is how difficult it is to live for "number one". The kids I work with are the most stressed out, highly strung, most scared, difficult and selfish people I have ever met. They're a product of the society we live in. I belong to that society, I belong to a generation of broken, lazy, uncreative, destructive and consumer cultured people who can have kids!
However! God cares. He's doing something about it. I can see in the heartbeat and work of my colleagues and my manager battling everyday to spin the ball the other way, to pull the gear stick out of reverse and back into first. I see the kingdom of God breaking through, (even if my colleagues aren't "Christian"), glimpses of the Holy Spirit, little shards of light flickering as God gradually breaks in to guide us, to save us from the destruction that we head towards. I want to shout "COME ON GOD! SHOW YOUR LOVE!!", suffering every kick, punch and bite, putting up with every racial, verbal and physical abuse that these children can throw knowing that in the end maybe one... maybe two might turn around and think, "hm, maybe there is a better way of doing things, maybe I am loved more than I will ever know, maybe there is someone who loves and care for me because honestly, that's what I need".
Monday, 5 July 2010
"Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth".
The Friday just gone (2/5/10) we had another talk on the beatitudes. I spoke on Matthew 5:5. "Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth." (NIV).
It was flipping difficult to communicate my understanding of this verse. The way I understand meek was based on the Greek- 'Praus' which is another word for mild (by implication) or humble. The way I interpreted the verse was by looking at what wasn't meek. And who inherits or possesses the earth now. From what I can see those who inherit the earth (greek- 'ge'- soil, by extension a region or the solid part or the whole of the globe) at this moment in time is those in power, those who have influence. The politicians, the land owners, the billionaires, the oil companies, the CEO's, the "super sweet 16's" (if you've ever seen that program!), etc... The earth is carved up and distributed to those who can grab a hold of it. Domination, force and sometimes oppression are how we 'inherit' the earth.
So how is it that Jesus can say the MEEK inherit the earth. My experience of it is the opposite. I imagine in Jesus' time the same rule applied as it does today or at least looked somewhat similar. The earth was carved up and the Romans had most of it. The disciples who Jesus was teaching would believe that they were the rightful owners of the land, that they were given the land by their fathers before them, that if God was really God, and they were God's chosen people then He would want the very best for them.
Rob Bell helped me to understand that what Jesus may have meant was based on Psalm 37. Bell explains in one of his sermons (http://marshill.org/cart/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=57_38&products_id=560) that when Jesus was speaking, what He was saying wasn't new. Throughout the Psalm there are the words 'meek', 'inheritance' and 'earth'/'land'. The disciples will have been familiar with if not knew Psalm 37. By using words like meek, inheritance and earth, Jesus was doing was what Bell calls 'Remez': a hint, a reference to something else.
Have a look and see that the Psalm speaks of how the evil in this world will wither away. "For like the grass they will soon wither, like green plants they will soon wither away". All the imagery in the Psalm speaks of how God will oppose evil. How God will stand with the meek and oppressed. That God walks with the meek, the righteous. It is a Psalm of hope and comfort for the oppressed.
And that is what Jesus is pointing at. Jesus is saying that you don't need to gain power, gain status, and force your way to the top, you don't need to fight for your land, you don't need to pick up your sword and start swinging, because by doing that (even if you do it in the name of God) you will only be opposing God. Jesus taught to turn the other cheek when struck (Matt 5:39), to walk two miles when forced to walk one (Matt 5:41)... to "love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you" (Matt 5:44).
It's a very radical, very revolutionary idea... "To our most bitter opponents we say: "Throw us in jail and we will still love you. Bomb our houses and threaten our children and we will still love you. Beat us and leave us half dead, and we will still love you. But be ye assured that we will wear you down by our capacity to suffer. One day we shall so appeal to your heart and conscience that we shall win you in the process, and our victory will be a double victory." - Dr Martin Luther King Jr., "The American Dream".
I think the point is not about who actually 'inherits" the earth but what will last. Psalm 37 says that evil will wither away... empires will rise and fall, oppressors and dictators will have their time but eternal things will live on for... well, eternity - things that are creative and reproduce, things that we all connect with and deeply desire. Things like love, things like acceptance, peace, joy, kindness, and so much more. Maybe when Jesus points to eternal life He is pointing to what is already created, what already exists and IS will last forever. But evil will not go on forever. Better to invest in what is eternal than to invest in what will wither away... right?
On Friday I spoke about how we draw distinctions, divisions and lines. Not necessarily physically on the earth but socially speaking there is plenty to define our differences, there is plenty of room for a crisis of identity in an individual today. There are different races, religions and cultural and generational divisions. The meek are the oppressed. I can see now that I might have been wrong when I said that "everyone is meek", because I imagine that there are people who believe that they have it all together, that they have what they want and can do whatever they want to whoever they want. But does anyone actually believe this, or does everyone still have at least a niggling feeling that they don't have it all together or that they aren't keeping up... after all, don't those who do strive for having it all together only do so because they believe that they don't yet?
Meekness is this recognition that we don't have it all together.
I don't know about you, but I don't think meekness is drawing up a constitution or policy and getting the biggest number of followers. Neither do I think it is forcing our thinking onto someone else, nor is it "fighting terror with terror" (George W. Bush Jr).
Maybe meekness can be recognizing that we don't have all the answers to saving the world.
Maybe meekness is knowing that without God we are screwed.
Maybe meekness is trusting that God has it all sorted regardless of race, religion or denomination.
Maybe meekness is dying on a cross asking "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"...
I think that we would be very blessed if we recognized that we share the same needs, and actually acted to help each other to meet these needs. But naturally, as I spoke on Friday in church there was a whole plethora of complicated discussion over humility, whether everyone was meek, how everyone was or could be meek especially when I when I said that "everyone is meek". Somehow, it led to a discussion on heaven, hell and eternal life, which led to a discussion on unconditional love, which led to a discussion of truth and interpretation of the Bible, which led to subjective and objective truth, which led back to the interpretation of the Bible, which led to aspects of eschatology, which led back to heaven and hell, etc...
But I'll end with a joke.
So there's this massive queue of people outside the pearly gates of heaven ready to go in and Peter is standing there with the book of life ticking people off as they go inside. An admin angel with a full-on suit comes up and taps Peter on the shoulder saying, "hey Peter, there seems to be a bit of a problem. There are more people inside heaven than there are recorded in the book of life." and Peter says, "that's strange..." The angel says, "but don't worry about it, I'll go check it out and see what's going on." The angel returns a little later saying to Peter, "Yeah, we found the problem... Turns out Jesus is on the other side of heaven pulling people in from the other side."
It is a wonderful thought isn't it? The thought of Jesus pulling people over the walls of heaven saying to the homosexuals, the murderers, the liars, the thieves, the pedophiles, the Hitlers and Stalins "Come in, there's plenty of room for you here. Don't worry, you won't mess it up. My grace is enough."
It was flipping difficult to communicate my understanding of this verse. The way I understand meek was based on the Greek- 'Praus' which is another word for mild (by implication) or humble. The way I interpreted the verse was by looking at what wasn't meek. And who inherits or possesses the earth now. From what I can see those who inherit the earth (greek- 'ge'- soil, by extension a region or the solid part or the whole of the globe) at this moment in time is those in power, those who have influence. The politicians, the land owners, the billionaires, the oil companies, the CEO's, the "super sweet 16's" (if you've ever seen that program!), etc... The earth is carved up and distributed to those who can grab a hold of it. Domination, force and sometimes oppression are how we 'inherit' the earth.
So how is it that Jesus can say the MEEK inherit the earth. My experience of it is the opposite. I imagine in Jesus' time the same rule applied as it does today or at least looked somewhat similar. The earth was carved up and the Romans had most of it. The disciples who Jesus was teaching would believe that they were the rightful owners of the land, that they were given the land by their fathers before them, that if God was really God, and they were God's chosen people then He would want the very best for them.
Rob Bell helped me to understand that what Jesus may have meant was based on Psalm 37. Bell explains in one of his sermons (http://marshill.org/cart/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=57_38&products_id=560) that when Jesus was speaking, what He was saying wasn't new. Throughout the Psalm there are the words 'meek', 'inheritance' and 'earth'/'land'. The disciples will have been familiar with if not knew Psalm 37. By using words like meek, inheritance and earth, Jesus was doing was what Bell calls 'Remez': a hint, a reference to something else.
Have a look and see that the Psalm speaks of how the evil in this world will wither away. "For like the grass they will soon wither, like green plants they will soon wither away". All the imagery in the Psalm speaks of how God will oppose evil. How God will stand with the meek and oppressed. That God walks with the meek, the righteous. It is a Psalm of hope and comfort for the oppressed.
And that is what Jesus is pointing at. Jesus is saying that you don't need to gain power, gain status, and force your way to the top, you don't need to fight for your land, you don't need to pick up your sword and start swinging, because by doing that (even if you do it in the name of God) you will only be opposing God. Jesus taught to turn the other cheek when struck (Matt 5:39), to walk two miles when forced to walk one (Matt 5:41)... to "love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you" (Matt 5:44).
It's a very radical, very revolutionary idea... "To our most bitter opponents we say: "Throw us in jail and we will still love you. Bomb our houses and threaten our children and we will still love you. Beat us and leave us half dead, and we will still love you. But be ye assured that we will wear you down by our capacity to suffer. One day we shall so appeal to your heart and conscience that we shall win you in the process, and our victory will be a double victory." - Dr Martin Luther King Jr., "The American Dream".
I think the point is not about who actually 'inherits" the earth but what will last. Psalm 37 says that evil will wither away... empires will rise and fall, oppressors and dictators will have their time but eternal things will live on for... well, eternity - things that are creative and reproduce, things that we all connect with and deeply desire. Things like love, things like acceptance, peace, joy, kindness, and so much more. Maybe when Jesus points to eternal life He is pointing to what is already created, what already exists and IS will last forever. But evil will not go on forever. Better to invest in what is eternal than to invest in what will wither away... right?
On Friday I spoke about how we draw distinctions, divisions and lines. Not necessarily physically on the earth but socially speaking there is plenty to define our differences, there is plenty of room for a crisis of identity in an individual today. There are different races, religions and cultural and generational divisions. The meek are the oppressed. I can see now that I might have been wrong when I said that "everyone is meek", because I imagine that there are people who believe that they have it all together, that they have what they want and can do whatever they want to whoever they want. But does anyone actually believe this, or does everyone still have at least a niggling feeling that they don't have it all together or that they aren't keeping up... after all, don't those who do strive for having it all together only do so because they believe that they don't yet?
Meekness is this recognition that we don't have it all together.
I don't know about you, but I don't think meekness is drawing up a constitution or policy and getting the biggest number of followers. Neither do I think it is forcing our thinking onto someone else, nor is it "fighting terror with terror" (George W. Bush Jr).
Maybe meekness can be recognizing that we don't have all the answers to saving the world.
Maybe meekness is knowing that without God we are screwed.
Maybe meekness is trusting that God has it all sorted regardless of race, religion or denomination.
Maybe meekness is dying on a cross asking "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"...
I think that we would be very blessed if we recognized that we share the same needs, and actually acted to help each other to meet these needs. But naturally, as I spoke on Friday in church there was a whole plethora of complicated discussion over humility, whether everyone was meek, how everyone was or could be meek especially when I when I said that "everyone is meek". Somehow, it led to a discussion on heaven, hell and eternal life, which led to a discussion on unconditional love, which led to a discussion of truth and interpretation of the Bible, which led to subjective and objective truth, which led back to the interpretation of the Bible, which led to aspects of eschatology, which led back to heaven and hell, etc...
But I'll end with a joke.
So there's this massive queue of people outside the pearly gates of heaven ready to go in and Peter is standing there with the book of life ticking people off as they go inside. An admin angel with a full-on suit comes up and taps Peter on the shoulder saying, "hey Peter, there seems to be a bit of a problem. There are more people inside heaven than there are recorded in the book of life." and Peter says, "that's strange..." The angel says, "but don't worry about it, I'll go check it out and see what's going on." The angel returns a little later saying to Peter, "Yeah, we found the problem... Turns out Jesus is on the other side of heaven pulling people in from the other side."
It is a wonderful thought isn't it? The thought of Jesus pulling people over the walls of heaven saying to the homosexuals, the murderers, the liars, the thieves, the pedophiles, the Hitlers and Stalins "Come in, there's plenty of room for you here. Don't worry, you won't mess it up. My grace is enough."
Saturday, 26 June 2010
"Finding Faith"- Peter Rollins.
"There was once a fiery preacher who possessed a powerful but unusual gift. He found that, from an early age, when he prayed for individuals, they would supernaturally lose all of their religious convictions. They would invariably loose all of their beliefs about the prophets, the sacred Scriptures, and even God. So he learned not to pray for people but instead limited himself to preaching inspiring sermons and doing good works.
However, one day while travelling across the country, the preacher found himself in conversation with a businessman who happened to be going in the same direction. This businessman was a very powerful and ruthless merchant banker, one who was honoured by his collegues and respected by his adversaries.
their conversation began because the businessman, possessing a deep, abiding faith, had noticed the preacher reading from the Bible. He introduced himself to the preacher and they began to talk. As they chatted together this powerful man told the preacher all about his faith in God and his love of Christ. He spoke of how his work di not really define who he was but was simply what he had to do.
"The world of business is a cold one," he confided to the preacher, "and in my line of work I find myself in situations that challenge my Christian convictions. But I try, as much as possible, to remain true to my faith. Indeed, I attend a local church every Sunday, participate in a prayer circle, engage in some youth work, and contribute to a weekly Bible study. These activities help to remind me of who I really am."
After listening carefully to the businessman's story, the preacher began to realize the purpose of his unseemly gift. So he turned to the businessman and said, "Would you allow me to pray a blessing into your life?"
The businessman readily agreed, unaware of what would happen. Sure enough, after the preacher had muttered a simple prayer the man opened his eyes in astonishment.
"What a fool I have been for all these years!" he proclaimed. "It is clear to me now that there is no God above who is looking out for me, and that there are no sacred texts to guide me, and there is no Spirit to inspire and and protect me."
As they parted company the businessman, still confused by what had taken place, returned home. But now that he no longer had any religious beliefs, he began to find it increasingly difficult to continue in his line of work. Faced with the fact that he was now just a hard-nosed businessman working in a corrupt system, rather than a man of God, he began to despise his activity. Within months he had a breakdwon, and soon afterward gave up his line of work completely. Feeling better about himself, he then wnet on to give to the poor all the riches he had accumulated and began to use his considerable managerial expertise to challenge the very system he once participated in, and to help those who had been oppressed by it.
One day, many years later, he happened upon the preacher again while walking thorugh town. He ran over, fell at the preacher's feet, and began to weep with joy. Eventually he looked up at the preacher and smiled, "Thank you, my dear friend, for helping me discover my faith."
COMMENTARY. (By Rollins).
In this story we begin to gain an insight into how religious belief can itself be a barrier to living the life of faith. It is all too easy for us to think that religious beliefs express the deep truth of our inner life while what we do on a daily basis in work is only a mask, a necessary evil that must be endured in order to get by in today's frenetic, consumerist world.
In this way we think that it is our commitment to prayer groups, church meetings, and Bible studies that reflects the essence of our inner lives. Our religious groups on the weekends and in the evenings are thought to be sites of resistance that provide us with the strength to question our work and avoid getting fully caught up in it.
However, could it be that these activities are in fact the very things that allow us to fully engage with the world? What if we need our prayer groups and Bible studies because they act as a type of safety valve that actually allows us to release the tension and stresses of our work so that, the next day, we can return again? If this is so, then the activities that we think critique the unjust world are really the very activities that this world requires in order to run smoothly. Our church activities are then nothing more than a type of air vent in the machine.
This logic is beautifully expressed in The Matrix Trilogy, directed by the Wachowski Brothers. In the first film we learn that there is a city where people are free from the AI prison where the majority of humans are held and that Neo (Keanu Reeves) is the hero who can bring freedom. However, in the later films we learn that there have been many cities before Zion (the free city) and that Neo is just the latest in a long line of messiah-like individuals who have risen up to challenge the machines.
Furthermore, we learn that the machines are actually behind what initially seems to be the very force that would threaten them: they are behind the development of Zion and they provide the necessary conditions for Neo (and the other freedom fighters) to arise. Why? Because they understand that, for the oppressive system they have constructed to work, the Matrix needs to include a site of resistance.
In daily life there are reams of activities that are publicly disavowed by the government and society at large, yet are privately permitted. Among these are turning a blind eye to prosecution in certain areas, and the fact that we can all go ten miles per hour over the speed limit without too much fear of getting fined. These acts allow people to disobey the law in ways that are actually unofficially sanctioned by the law. We who engage in such state-sanctioned transgressions are otherwise law-abiding citizens. Indeed, our ability to break the law in small ways is part of what keeps us law-abiding the rest of the time. If we were not able to engage in small acts of transgression, if the law were absolutely unbending, then we would begin to rebel against it in a fundamental way. By creating leniency within the law, the law is not experienced as oppressive and is thus more likely to be accepted with all its flaws.
In the above story I attempt to explore and critique this problem by putting into fictional form insights of the theologian Dietrich Bonhoeffer in Letters and Papers from Prison. Here Bonhoeffer rejected religion because he felt that it places God on the outer edges of life as the example to our current ignorance (for example, as the name we give to the one who created the world) or as the one we turn to in private sphere (such as the church and in the home). Bonhoeffer rejected this and refused to give God a place in the world, because when God is given a place, God is confined to a specific location (and that location is usually on the edges of life). Instead he advocated an existence fully immersed in the world, utterly taken up by the concerns of the world, one that pours itself out in the joys and suffering of the world.
Such a move could of course be misunderstood as a way of actively denying God. It could be described as a humanism in which people are encouraged to take responsibility for their own lives rather than looking for some divine answer. Yet for Bonhoeffer this was not the end of the story. If religion gives God a place, and humanism denies that place, then he claimed that Christianity fully embraces this humanism, not as a way of denying God, but as the way of fully affirming God - denying God a place so that God is affirmed in every place. Here one fully lives in the world as a way of fully living before God. Hence he wrote, "Before God and with God we live without God." (Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Selected Writings, ed. John de Grunchy (London: Collins, 1988), 291.)
The result of such thinking is the affirmation of a faith that permeates all our actions rather than being exhibited only when faced with something we cannot understand, or at some prayer meeting, or in some weekly service to the poor. Such an expression thus strikes against the very roots of inauthentic resistance and demands a truly radical reconfiguring of our social existence.
To put this in religious language, the above story asks if perhaps the devil, far from hating our multitude of church activities, positively loves them, for it is in these very activities that we are able to become such productive agents in carrying out his insidious desires - making changes in the world that fundamentally ensure everything in the world remains the same."
- Taken from part 1, chapter 11 in "The Orthodox Heretic and other impossible tales" by Peter Rollins (London: Canterbury Press)
----
I was really struck by this story Rollins wrote and I wanted to share it with you guys. I hope it challenges you to ask questions, engages your thinking and perceptions of religion and life. I want to welcome thoughts, comments and discussions so please leave something. But you don't have to. If you don't want to. It is up to you :)
However, one day while travelling across the country, the preacher found himself in conversation with a businessman who happened to be going in the same direction. This businessman was a very powerful and ruthless merchant banker, one who was honoured by his collegues and respected by his adversaries.
their conversation began because the businessman, possessing a deep, abiding faith, had noticed the preacher reading from the Bible. He introduced himself to the preacher and they began to talk. As they chatted together this powerful man told the preacher all about his faith in God and his love of Christ. He spoke of how his work di not really define who he was but was simply what he had to do.
"The world of business is a cold one," he confided to the preacher, "and in my line of work I find myself in situations that challenge my Christian convictions. But I try, as much as possible, to remain true to my faith. Indeed, I attend a local church every Sunday, participate in a prayer circle, engage in some youth work, and contribute to a weekly Bible study. These activities help to remind me of who I really am."
After listening carefully to the businessman's story, the preacher began to realize the purpose of his unseemly gift. So he turned to the businessman and said, "Would you allow me to pray a blessing into your life?"
The businessman readily agreed, unaware of what would happen. Sure enough, after the preacher had muttered a simple prayer the man opened his eyes in astonishment.
"What a fool I have been for all these years!" he proclaimed. "It is clear to me now that there is no God above who is looking out for me, and that there are no sacred texts to guide me, and there is no Spirit to inspire and and protect me."
As they parted company the businessman, still confused by what had taken place, returned home. But now that he no longer had any religious beliefs, he began to find it increasingly difficult to continue in his line of work. Faced with the fact that he was now just a hard-nosed businessman working in a corrupt system, rather than a man of God, he began to despise his activity. Within months he had a breakdwon, and soon afterward gave up his line of work completely. Feeling better about himself, he then wnet on to give to the poor all the riches he had accumulated and began to use his considerable managerial expertise to challenge the very system he once participated in, and to help those who had been oppressed by it.
One day, many years later, he happened upon the preacher again while walking thorugh town. He ran over, fell at the preacher's feet, and began to weep with joy. Eventually he looked up at the preacher and smiled, "Thank you, my dear friend, for helping me discover my faith."
COMMENTARY. (By Rollins).
In this story we begin to gain an insight into how religious belief can itself be a barrier to living the life of faith. It is all too easy for us to think that religious beliefs express the deep truth of our inner life while what we do on a daily basis in work is only a mask, a necessary evil that must be endured in order to get by in today's frenetic, consumerist world.
In this way we think that it is our commitment to prayer groups, church meetings, and Bible studies that reflects the essence of our inner lives. Our religious groups on the weekends and in the evenings are thought to be sites of resistance that provide us with the strength to question our work and avoid getting fully caught up in it.
However, could it be that these activities are in fact the very things that allow us to fully engage with the world? What if we need our prayer groups and Bible studies because they act as a type of safety valve that actually allows us to release the tension and stresses of our work so that, the next day, we can return again? If this is so, then the activities that we think critique the unjust world are really the very activities that this world requires in order to run smoothly. Our church activities are then nothing more than a type of air vent in the machine.
This logic is beautifully expressed in The Matrix Trilogy, directed by the Wachowski Brothers. In the first film we learn that there is a city where people are free from the AI prison where the majority of humans are held and that Neo (Keanu Reeves) is the hero who can bring freedom. However, in the later films we learn that there have been many cities before Zion (the free city) and that Neo is just the latest in a long line of messiah-like individuals who have risen up to challenge the machines.
Furthermore, we learn that the machines are actually behind what initially seems to be the very force that would threaten them: they are behind the development of Zion and they provide the necessary conditions for Neo (and the other freedom fighters) to arise. Why? Because they understand that, for the oppressive system they have constructed to work, the Matrix needs to include a site of resistance.
In daily life there are reams of activities that are publicly disavowed by the government and society at large, yet are privately permitted. Among these are turning a blind eye to prosecution in certain areas, and the fact that we can all go ten miles per hour over the speed limit without too much fear of getting fined. These acts allow people to disobey the law in ways that are actually unofficially sanctioned by the law. We who engage in such state-sanctioned transgressions are otherwise law-abiding citizens. Indeed, our ability to break the law in small ways is part of what keeps us law-abiding the rest of the time. If we were not able to engage in small acts of transgression, if the law were absolutely unbending, then we would begin to rebel against it in a fundamental way. By creating leniency within the law, the law is not experienced as oppressive and is thus more likely to be accepted with all its flaws.
In the above story I attempt to explore and critique this problem by putting into fictional form insights of the theologian Dietrich Bonhoeffer in Letters and Papers from Prison. Here Bonhoeffer rejected religion because he felt that it places God on the outer edges of life as the example to our current ignorance (for example, as the name we give to the one who created the world) or as the one we turn to in private sphere (such as the church and in the home). Bonhoeffer rejected this and refused to give God a place in the world, because when God is given a place, God is confined to a specific location (and that location is usually on the edges of life). Instead he advocated an existence fully immersed in the world, utterly taken up by the concerns of the world, one that pours itself out in the joys and suffering of the world.
Such a move could of course be misunderstood as a way of actively denying God. It could be described as a humanism in which people are encouraged to take responsibility for their own lives rather than looking for some divine answer. Yet for Bonhoeffer this was not the end of the story. If religion gives God a place, and humanism denies that place, then he claimed that Christianity fully embraces this humanism, not as a way of denying God, but as the way of fully affirming God - denying God a place so that God is affirmed in every place. Here one fully lives in the world as a way of fully living before God. Hence he wrote, "Before God and with God we live without God." (Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Selected Writings, ed. John de Grunchy (London: Collins, 1988), 291.)
The result of such thinking is the affirmation of a faith that permeates all our actions rather than being exhibited only when faced with something we cannot understand, or at some prayer meeting, or in some weekly service to the poor. Such an expression thus strikes against the very roots of inauthentic resistance and demands a truly radical reconfiguring of our social existence.
To put this in religious language, the above story asks if perhaps the devil, far from hating our multitude of church activities, positively loves them, for it is in these very activities that we are able to become such productive agents in carrying out his insidious desires - making changes in the world that fundamentally ensure everything in the world remains the same."
- Taken from part 1, chapter 11 in "The Orthodox Heretic and other impossible tales" by Peter Rollins (London: Canterbury Press)
----
I was really struck by this story Rollins wrote and I wanted to share it with you guys. I hope it challenges you to ask questions, engages your thinking and perceptions of religion and life. I want to welcome thoughts, comments and discussions so please leave something. But you don't have to. If you don't want to. It is up to you :)
Wednesday, 16 June 2010
Friday Fellowship- The Beatitudes.
So the Friday just gone Joei began our series on "The Beatitudes" (Matthew 5). Personally I thought she did an excellent job. She looked at verse 3. "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the Kingdom of God". I think one thing that struck me was when I understood that The Beatitudes is not about us, or those who are poor in spirit but its more about God and His character.
We discussed who the "poor in spirit" were and its really funny the way we get so caught up in defining how someone can be "poor in spirit" that we forget that Jesus wasn't necessarily focusing on the poor in spirit, He was more focused on displaying God's character. (In fact, we couldn't define the "spirit" because we we're confused as to whether it meant the Holy Spirit, or a person's spirit or whatever, thus defining "poor" was equally impossible). Maybe The Beatitudes is all about God's all inclusive grace? My assumption is that "poor in spirit" is US. You, me, and every other stranger in the world. No matter which "spirit" is poor, be it us, or anyone else... "Theirs is the Kingdom of God". Its universal... If a man is in prison and is "poor in spirit" theirs is the kingdom of God. If a man is not in prison but is "poor in spirit" theirs is the kingdom of God. I think God's kingdom is a lot more inclusive than we can imagine and more tolerant than our theology teaches us. I think God's Kingdom is more universal, more accepting, more gracious and loving than we can ever experience. But is SO close! It is here... "Once, having been asked by the Pharisees when the Kingdom of God would come Jesus replied, "the Kingdom of God does not come by your careful observation, nor will people say 'here is it,' or 'There it is,' because the Kingdom of God is within you." (Luke 17: 20-21) (Read the whole section... its more than interesting!)
I love God. I love that His love accepts me and welcomes me in. That His love surpasses and somehow covers all my faults and failures. There I go again... me, me, me... haha... But, I wonder if I will ever be able to love like Jesus loves. To be so radically inclusive that its scary. To live the life of love and obedience through and through even if it meant dying on a cross. I feel we have a long long way to go.
Next Friday we'll be looking at the next verse in The Beatitudes! Come join us because there is so much to learn! Plus, we'll be organising the BBQ for the week after and other events over the summer (like the inter-church sports day)! There's plenty to get excited about :)
Lets continue to encourage one another to live to "touch heaven and change earth".
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